I swallowed a spider

[Lockjaw Larry]

I think it may have been a spider.  I just now picked a Forerunner 2 G randomly from my armchair drawer, started playing scales and upon the first hole 2 draw something touched my go-up-and-fetch-it triggering a long bout of coughing.  Whew, that was weird.  Ten minutes later the tickle is finally easing a little but, wow, I don’t wanna inhale another spider, ever. 
An itsy bitsy spider flew down my inhale spout, next came a gag - I coughed the spider out.  Next came the cough that lasted for a while, drawing tears from my windows, and from my nose trickled snot. 
I mean, it coulda been pocket lint had I stashed it in my pocket.  But come on, in my harp drawer.  Yuk phooey.

[brorat]

 

Ah, the hazards of our passions! 

But on the positive side, has "Itsy" fulfilled your protein needs for the day?

[John Broecker]

A similar event:

I pulled a drinking cup from the cupboard.
I didn't check it.

I boiled milk, added cocoa and stirred
in the cup.

I noticed a totally white insect floating
on the drink's surface.

It was a spider. Totally white means
that it died from the heat.

I didn't drink the hot chocolate.

Best Regards, search the cup
before adding the drink.

JB

[Age]

Ooooooh that's bad, man!
Just a nice reminder to the rest of us to keep'em in a box or somethin'. I have a case (you prolly saw it last summer at DannyG's) that I use to keep my harumkas in, but at home I'm not as careful.
I hate any kind of spider; they gimme the eebee-jeebies! Last bug I had in my mouth was a yellow jacked that found it's way between my windshleld and my puss.  My lower lip swelled up so bad I looked like a start wars character
Thanx for the reminder, Bro.

[smojoe]

Over these myriad of years it hasn't escaped my attention that mr. Lockjaw is.........el prono de los accidentes.

[Lockjaw Larry]

Ha, .Joe… I can’t read garggleism but get the jest of this.  That’s beyond kind of you and, yes, I accept your nomination. 

[smojoe]

It's my NON Spanish made to resemble Spanish. It means: Prone to accidents. Speaking of which A.J. and the illustrious Danny G. aren't far behind you. 

Signor citizen

[Lockjaw Larry]

That’s how I translated it but just felt compelled to jest a smidgeon.  And who, I ask, is a better jest partner than you, my compardraman friend. BTW, I still enjoy watching your few YouTube tunes.  Wish there were more.

[Age]

Sung to the tune of "I Started a Joke"

[Gnarly He Man]

"Answers to Lucky" 

[Age]

"Answers to Lucky" 

Ya mean that three legged, one eyed dog with burn scars on half of his body? THAT Lucky??

[Gnarly He Man]

"Answers to Lucky" 

Ya mean that three legged, one eyed dog with burn scars on half of his body? THAT Lucky??

Bingo!
Oops, wrong dog.

[Grizzly]

There was an old lady who swallowed a fly,
I don't know why she swallowed a fly – perhaps she'll die!

There was an old lady who swallowed a spider
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her;
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly;
I don't know why she swallowed a fly – perhaps she'll die!

There was an old lady who swallowed a bird;
How absurd to swallow a bird!
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her,
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly;
I don't know why she swallowed a fly – perhaps she'll die!

There was an old lady who swallowed a cat;
Well, fancy that, she swallowed a cat!
She swallowed the cat to catch the bird,
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her,
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly;
I don't know why she swallowed a fly – perhaps she'll die!

There was an old lady that swallowed a dog;
What a hog to swallow a dog!
She swallowed the dog to catch the cat,
She swallowed the cat to catch the bird,
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her,
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly;
I don't know why she swallowed a fly – perhaps she'll die!

There was an old lady who swallowed a goat;
Just opened her throat and swallowed a goat!
She swallowed the goat to catch the dog,
She swallowed the dog to catch the cat,
She swallowed the cat to catch the bird,
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her,
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly;
I don't know why she swallowed a fly – perhaps she'll die!

There was an old lady who swallowed a cow;
I don't know how she swallowed a cow!
She swallowed the cow to catch the goat,
She swallowed the goat to catch the dog,
She swallowed the dog to catch the cat,
She swallowed the cat to catch the bird,
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her,
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly;
I don't know why she swallowed a fly – perhaps she'll die!

There was an old lady who swallowed a horse...
She's dead, of course!

[Age]

Love it!
It's so Ogdan Nash'esque. 

[smojoe]

Meanwhile John Broecker wasted an entirely good cup of cocoa. I would have just fished the spider out. And said: "Go home Tippie"

Joe the elocution electrocution

[Age]

Yeah, John's kinda out of the game for a while. He sent me a letter saying that his ISP is down or something, and his only access to the forum is when he goes to the liberry.
Here's hopin'n he gets back up and running soon.

[Scotty]

Yeah, John's kinda out of the game for a while. He sent me a letter saying that his ISP is down or something, and his only access to the forum is when he goes to the liberry.
Here's hopin'n he gets back up and running soon.

Oh no! I'm with John 100%! I too can't stand spiders and they seem to LOVE my house, showing up in the most unexpected places. We have these lovely soft-close drawers (far too few) in the kitchen, which I'm assuming give the little buggers plenty of time to hop in. As John has learned I too check EVERY mug, cup and dish and now even rinse them with hot water before use since I've had unwelcome visitors as well~'shudder'.  Poor Larry, I'd still be up-chucking. Years ago, I found a desiccated spider in an old chromatic I'd bought off ebay and was checking with a flashlight. Ugh. My arachnophobia kicked in hard!

scotty

[smojoe]

We have several types of spiders. We leave them alone. Some are rather large. Good to have around if you have palmetto bugs (aka giant roaches). The bugs live in the palms. The spiders control the roaches when they come in the house. Then the lizards control the spiders. The snakes control the lizards. The hogs control the snakes.

Joe Helpmegetouttahere.

[Lockjaw Larry]

The hogs control the snakes.
I understand hogs are very good eating.  So the spider sacrificed to your pleasure.  In a way.

[Scotty]

We have plenty of 'other kinds' of bugs here, especially in these hot, humid, Long Island Summer months. SO many mosquitoes, all the obligatory wasps, bees, hornets and such, crickets which make an INFERNAL noise at night, and of course...the ticks. ALL kinds of ticks. Spiders don't control those, unfortunately, and if one has pets (and even if not), those little nasties carry all kinds of awful diseases. We have spiders which BITE I still have the scar on my shin from a brown recluse spider from more than 20 years ago which wouldn't heal, kept 'weeping' and itched like mad. It's only when my older brother John (now passed) who noticed it and asked what the heck that huge 'thing' was on my leg - and then told me what HE thought it was, that it all made sense. I'd seen some of those awful things around here but didn't know what they were. Now, we have these 'spider crickets' I call 'em. They're not normal crickets which we have plenty of...but more brown/grey and move differently AND jump straight up, sideways and 'scuttle' like spiders. They're also hairy which triggers my aforementioned arachnophobia again. So they're definitely not welcomed on the hearth.

About a month or so ago, Luka developed a huge lump on his face, just below his eye. We assumed it was an insect sting or bite. Didn't take him into the vet since it didn't affect his eye and he seemed alright. It opened up to a sore which leaked so we finally did. Turns out (at least HE said) that it was a badly abscessed upper tooth (which had come all the way through his face?) requiring anesthesia and surgery (he's only 4-l/2 so I'm still a bit unsure, but it did finally heal after 2-3weeks of antibiotics and sutures inside and out. Poor baby. He did NOT like wearing that huge cone for the duration. I still think some kind of insect was involved since he seems to imagine he's the 'insect hunter' and will go after ANYTHING in midair.

scotty
 

[Lockjaw Larry]

Your post makes it seem you live in a bug-infested jungle somewhere in the tropics.  Lol
This past spring I built some bat houses in hopes of attracting some families to our area to rid us of all sorts of flying critters.  I understand opossums eat several critters daily, including ticks, so there’s that.  No, I don’t want opossums around our house even though we are surrounded by hay fields.  My wife complains about ants more than other critters so I reluctantly spray for them, especially around her studios foundations.  I wonder what the little stinkers think about us awful humans?
I hope Luka learns which invaders to leave alone.  Poor little baby.

[Scotty]

Your post makes it seem you live in a bug-infested jungle somewhere in the tropics.  Lol
This past spring I built some bat houses in hopes of attracting some families to our area to rid us of all sorts of flying critters.  I understand opossums eat several critters daily, including ticks, so there’s that.  No, I don’t want opossums around our house even though we are surrounded by hay fields.  My wife complains about ants more than other critters so I reluctantly spray for them, especially around her studios foundations.  I wonder what the little stinkers think about us awful humans?
I hope Luka learns which invaders to leave alone.  Poor little baby.

LOL, I suspect it might be because our neighbours spray like mad (the companies keep trying to coerce us into killing everything in sight but we refuse to sign up unless it's 'organic' spray and they can't commit to that)...we have an inground pool AND tons of wildlife (yup, including opossums, squirrels, raccoons (always a new family every year), bunnies galore, SO many birds (he's tried to catch by leaping into the air) moles and of course the voles (field mice) which are probably the vectors FOR the ticks for the most part. Unfortunately, since Luka somehow survived on the Streets of Brooklyn for who-knows how long, he seems to have developed a 'play small animals to death' mentality. AND won't stop until the poor thing no longer moves. Last week it was a squirrel - I suspect was already injured or sick...I simply couldn't rescue from him. It left me heartsick. He's treed umpteen opossums, but they stay put until he finally gives up. I love my squirrels which abound here. I also have my small (3 now) feral cat siblings who stay in the front of the house where Luka doesn't go. They're smart enough to stay away from him~and in front of the fence. I don't trust 'spraying' not to harm any of this wildlife. I've thought of putting up bat houses but Fred won't cooperate and I'd need his help. We've pretty much created a mini-forest on about 1/3 of our half-acre -to help mute the sound from the High School's football nights, but there's always a downside: ours is having a previously abused, half-wild 'white wolf' imagining that it's his hunting grounds. I'm SO glad we don't live further out where deer abound, or it could be so much worse!

scotty

[Age]

I don't mind any kind of spider or any other insect for that matter as long as they're no where near my house. Live and let live, that's what I say AS LONG AS THEY AIN'T ANYWHERE NEAR MY HOUSE. If it's got six or more legs, I'm killing it! Spiders and other bugs have always found a reason to bite me just for fun.

[Age]

When we were in Australia. (Ayr in N.Qld) I was bitten on my face and hand while sleeping by an elephant beetle. Pretty sure the scars are still there. Heck I've even been bitten in the middle of my back by a stinkin' house fly! Bugs love me, so I hate them all!

[Scotty]

Age: we have that in common. When I see kids (and others) interested in the lives of insects - I admire them from afar, but want NOTHING to do with it, or them. We get invaded by regular crickets every Summer - Fred catches them and moves them outside...but this 'new' version (they showed up about 3 years or so ago) are a brownish colour, very hairy, seem to have more legs than regular crickets...JUMP in all kinds of directions, and for some unfathomable reason LOVE my bathroom so scare me to bits. I've seen them glaring at me, just hoping I'll turn my head so they can sneak up~shudder. someone told me they're called 'cricket-spiders' or vice versa.

scotty

[smojoe]

Mole crickets.

[Age]

Crickets??? AAAAAGGHHH! Are you kiddin' me? I hate crickets! All bugs give me the eebeejeebees for that matter, but a cricket in your house will chirp until you find it, and they're just about impossible to find, and they're usually too fast to catch. It's one of those weird abnormalities (like a duck's quack doesn't echo) crickets chirping sound is absolutely non-directional, so while you can usually kinda narrow it down to the room they're in, they always sound like they're on the other side of the room so you can't zero in on them. The last one I got was with a spitball in an air rifle. He was in the worst possible place: my little studio, and I couldn't get near him, so I shot him from the other side of the room. Mwoahahaha! Rotten bug!!

The only bug I always thought was cool is a praying mantis. I yoosta tie a little harness (of light weight fishing line) around their necks and they'd fly circles around me as I walked. When they got too tired to fly anymore, I'd let them go.

Yeah, I know: Rotten kid!

[Grizzly]

Crickets??? AAAAAGGHHH! Are you kiddin' me? I hate crickets! All bugs give me the eebeejeebees for that matter, but a cricket in your house will chirp until you find it, and they're just about impossible to find, and they're usually too fast to catch. It's one of those weird abnormalities (like a duck's quack doesn't echo) crickets chirping sound is absolutely non-directional, so while you can usually kinda narrow it down to the room they're in, they always sound like they're on the other side of the room so you can't zero in on them. The last one I got was with a spitball in an air rifle. He was in the worst possible place: my little studio, and I couldn't get near him, so I shot him from the other side of the room. Mwoahahaha! Rotten bug!!

The only bug I always thought was cool is a praying mantis. I yoosta tie a little harness (of light weight fishing line) around their necks and they'd fly circles around me as I walked. When they got too tired to fly anymore, I'd let them go.

Yeah, I know: Rotten kid!

You remind me of the kid who was told, "Don't pull the cat's tail!" he replied, "I ain't pulling the cat's tail. I'm jest holdin' it. The cat's doin' all the pullin'!"

Tom

[smojoe]

Back in Trieste Italy (in 51) I used to play with rinocerous beetles. They're about as large as a half walnut. I used to tie them to my toy clock work tanks. Believe me now or trust me later, they could outpull the tanks. Wonderful little critters.

Beetlejoe

[Age]

Yeah, it always fascinates me to see a leaf moving across my driveway with one stinkin' little ant on the end of it, picking it up and spinning it around as he carries it. If there were such a thing as a forty pound ant, it could prolly walk away carrying your car.