Too old to cement

[Lockjaw Larry]

That’s me today.  Mrs decided we need another arbor to grow vines, (ie; shade) and possibly a future nother swing.  We have two mounted in their own arbors and a movable one already.  One facing North, one West, soon one East then the wherever one.    It was hard enough to dig four corner post holes under my maple but aligning, mixing concrete, setting the first post did my back in for a couple recovery hours.  At least I’m free to play various harmoniques while it sets and my back recovers.  Lol. See, I’m an optimist if not a spelllling schooler.

[John Broecker]

Hello, Lockjaw.

Just wait 'till the vines ripen, 
and then swing, swing, swing! 

Best Regards, Keep Swingin'

JB

[Age]

Hello, Lockjaw.

Just wait 'till the vines ripen, 
and then swing, swing, swing! 

Best Regards, Keep Swingin'

JB

That brings back a lotta childhood memories.

[Lockjaw Larry]

I was a senior in high school, Sandy was a sophomore and we were dating.  We visited an aunts farm where several younguns were swinging on a long grape vine in the woods.  I was cohersed into joining the fun, which didn’t require much coaxing.  Third swing out as far as I could go the vine tried to murder me!  I landed face down on a huge flat rock.  Broke my right ulna and busted my lip.  No one there could drive a car so a nephew ran down the holler to find someone to drive me to medical help.  I attempted to drive myself in serious pain, shifting the right side column shifter with my left hand.  Luckily someone met me and drove me to an old doctors house.  Sunday evening, no hospitals near so Doc Smith met us in his office.  Doc carefully set my arm and applied a cast then turned his gaze to my lip.  Gaze?  Na, he could barely see to walk, let alone stitch my lip.  He tried stitching my lip but mom stopped him saying, “ Doc Smith it’s the other lip.  Here let me guide you. “  Between the two of them I got stitched and wear a nice scar as proof there are good blind surgeons in little country towns.
Sandy learned to drive soon thereafter. 
I got a lot of sympathy at school and was assigned the very first Remington Rand Ball electric typewriter.  I got second in class on final typing exams. 
So that’s how Sandy ‘s new nickname became Jane and mine……Tarzan.

[Danny G]

I'd like to swing on a star and carry moonbeams home in a jar but I never tried swinging on a grape vine

[Age]

My brother Jimmy and I usta swing on a really big one out in the woods in Burton, OH.  Jimmy was 4 years older than me and just heavy enough that our the old monster vine, that as I recall was well over forty feet long, broke right in the very middle of his swing and the whole thing came down right on top of Jimmy. There he was, almost completely buried under that old monster vine. When we all realized Jimmy somehow escaped any kind of injury, we all laughed our butts off.

[Lockjaw Larry]

When we all realized Jimmy somehow escaped any kind of injury, we all laughed our butts off…

Yeah, it’s funny when it’s someone else.  It wasn’t my funny bone that got tickled that fateful, Memorial Day when my nickname became Tarzan. 
Not funny also was the day years prior I was swinging on another grapevine with my two older sisters.  The game was swing out to the tree with the wood pecker hole in it, deposit a pebble in it  (required hanging on with one hand)  and swing back.  Next person would swing out, retrieve the pebble and swing back.  One day I swung out, retrieved the pebble but my weary hand lost grip and I slid down the tree.  Got lots of bark rash and a solid thunk when the scary fall ended. 
But I didn’t learn my lesson until my broken ulna fall some years later.  Now I know!

[Age]

I dunno. AFTER the fact (looking back) I can almost see the humor in times when I hurt myself. Just this morning I was explaining how I wiped out on a bicycle when I was about 12, at (according to the speedometer) 50MPH. Got a concussion, terminal facial and arms road rash with exposed elbow bone and lotsa stitches.  Totally screwed myself up for the whole summer, and today I still see the humor in what witnesses say as I flew over their heads (cartoon style) before I hit the ground.

[Lockjaw Larry]

Yeah Age, looking back I smile remembering the time I was riding my ailing Honda motorcycle on back roads.  It was having serious electrical issues then.  I was trying to get it moving by pumping the throttle full on.  Suddenly it caught, the bike reared its ugly self with me hanging on for dear life.  I have ridden these mad throws before but it was heading for a barbed wire fence covered with brambles.  I quickly made the wise decision to abandon ship and leave it to its self inflicted adventure. Unfortunately when I jumped off my shoes knobby sole connected like gears with the big knobby rear tire, dragging my ankle into the area between the tire and fender, causing both lower leg bones to break.  Two breaks in one and one break in the other.  Then I couldn’t get it unstuck by myself.  Luckily my son saw this menacing machine maneuver myself in unfamiliar articulations and immediately came to my rescue.  Once we got my foot extracted my son jumped on his bike to go for help.  Unfortunately his bike musta been in cahoots with mine and stubbornly refused to start.  My son threw it down and started running to the nearest house almost in sight.  Now the funny part of this post… he ran full speed into and through the creek splashing water to kingdom come.  He looked like a Disney cartoon character of the fifties.  I, in my new misery, had to laugh way too much.  That’s that.

[Age]

Ha ha!  Never a dull moment!

My dad had eighteen motorcycles all together, most of which met with a bad ending. One went right through a shoestore in downtown Cleveland when some guy made a left in front of Pop, another went right through the side of a barn in Twinsbugrg when he slid off a wet road, another about five miles down the road from here when a cow walked out on the road while Pop was going around a sharp corner (he hit the cow) The bike was destroyed but the old blind cow survived. He hit a Model A right between the headlights (that weren't working) in Chesterland, and a bunch more accidents in which he broke several bones.

[Age]

All were funny stories when he told us about them and we'd roll on the floor laughing. He said, That wasn't really funny; I almost killed myself" but even then, he was smiling as he said that. He had all kinds of injuries growing up and afterward that, after hearing about them were hilarious. I really miss that "old guy" (even though he passed away ten years younger than I am today)

[Gnarly He Man]

I'd like to swing on a star and carry moonbeams home in a jar but I never tried swinging on a grape vine

You have given me an opportunity to share a version of that song that I feel is worth a listen.
Pat Donahue was the guitarist on Prairie Home Companion.
https://youtu.be/2Vr20gCZdNU?si=0bqkQaICwSPx9ztK

[Grizzly]

I'd like to swing on a star and carry moonbeams home in a jar but I never tried swinging on a grape vine

You have given me an opportunity to share a version of that song that I feel is worth a listen.
Pat Donahue was the guitarist on Prairie Home Companion.
https://youtu.be/2Vr20gCZdNU?si=0bqkQaICwSPx9ztK

Clever, clever lyrics. But the guitar playing is phenomenal! That's way beyond strummin' and flat-pickin'. I bet a lot of classical guitarists (the "serious stuff") couldn't play as well. Consider me impressed.

Tom

[Ed McCullough]

Larry,
Try growing Malabar spinach. It grows fast, give shade and and it's pretty good eating material.
-One of my friends in Colorado said he and his friends went to the top of Rocky Mountain National Park and rode down, sometimes reaching 60 mph. Pure nuts.